It’s been 6 months.. Everything is so different now. But on the other hand, everything is so much clearer. I’ve loved and I’ve lost. Most importantly, I’ve learned.
Sometimes things happen to us which are unexpected and not what we asked for. For me; I fell in love too quickly and too deeply. I believed every sweet word he told me and I gave him my whole heart. He broke me as a person and for months I was still bitter and cold. Until this day I still ask myself ‘Why me?’ ‘Why am I not good enough?’ ‘Why did he stop loving me?’… The truth is, he never really loved me. I’ve accepted that now and that’s why it’s easier for me to move on. As a good friend once told me, ‘instead of staying bitter you should be happy for them’. Although this seemed ridiculous at first, after while I started to be truly happy again.
Of course a part of me will always love the person that he pretended to be because I was completely and honestly my whole self to him and I gave him my everything. I will always care and I do truly hope he is happy. But I do hope one day I will get the explanation I deserve.
It will take me a long time to ever be like that with another person again but I will know that if I was that happy with the wrong person, imagine how happy I will be with the right…